In Buddhism class my teacher was giving an intro to Zazen and he said something like ‘your tongue should be pressed to the roof of your mouth’ then something like ’ I don’t know where eles it’d be, just flopping around?’ And everyone laughed.
And I just say there like…… …. wut.
I mean :P
I went in today hoping to hear they’re going to start prepping me for surgery, but apparently my jaw is being difficult and i have to wait another three months.
They adjusted my appliance and my mouth is so sore. I tried to eat something (a taco) and got the worst head ache.
I never get headaches.
Also in efforts to keep my tongue in place I developed the not cute habit of rolling my lips in.
I just want to have a normal mouth.
I thought of texting you
"good morning, I can’t sleep"
and then I remembered
that you are on a journey
which I am not a part of
and that’s okay
I can’t sleep
Let’s take a minute,
As I was standing around (yes standing) on the verge of tears because I’m just a mess of (pms) emotions.
And my uncle walks in with a bag of weed extended out infront of him and a goofy grin asking if I want some.
Literally made my day. I was bummed all day cos I smoked my last bowl this morning. But I’m set for a minute.
Oh and he just popped in to give me some wax.
I hate when you look at me like that.
11pm: can’t sleep
12am: damnit imma be tired tomorrow
2am: man fuck sleep. Imma stay up all night
3am: Satan’s waitin
6am: well shit.
Where did my passion and drive go?
I blame my situation, it sounds good…doesnt it?
Update. Rant. Done.
Upset that I haven’t had time to model. I know I’ve been doing a lot of makeup jobs, and working at the photo studio, and working my two other jobs, and school. But basically being an adult is cutting into my personal time.
It just sucks because modeling is seriously my favorite thing to do. I’m trying to get signed, so I just feel a lot of added pressure…..that fact that I’m close to my expiration date and haven’t been shooting(modeling) as frequentlyas I used to is getting me really down.
I’ve been having a tough few days, i think this is just my focus right now. I think I just need to spend a few days in LA shooting for myself.
It’s just been hard with this fucking retail job that I need to fucking quit. My scheduling skills have decreased since I started working retail. they give me my schedule in the middle of the week prior to the work week, which makes it really difficult to book shoots and commit to dates.
Ugh!!! I’m just venting. I don’t have another outlet right now. I worked out twice today and I’m still really scattered brained. I just want to shoot all the time..
Tomorrow will be better.
So….. i think im getting a car with in the month
The relief I feel from this semester being over is a fucking understatement.
But summer, oh god summer. I’m going to sew and create a bunch of shit that ive been wanting to diy. I’ll actually have time to do makeup tutorials and post cool shit that I do.
I started a blog on blogspot so keep an eye out for that.
I’m just really excited to be out of class.